Four and Emma Traded my Red Ribbon for a Gun
by MrsEaton
Summary: Emma is the girl Tobias has to shoot in his fear landscape. Tris doesn't know him, and Tobias is affected by her. But who is she?
1. Chapter 1

This story is about Emma (the girl who Tobias shoots in his fear landscape) and how she met Tobias.

For Veronica Roth

Chapter 1

Another laughter outbursts from the girls across from me because Rebecca got eliminated from the stupid elephant slapping hands game. Red and yellow dresses moving around makes me sick. "You have to sit in the middle with Emma!" Kristyn yells, can't she learn to keep it down. Aptitude tests are scary enough, I don't need to get anymore stressed. I look down and try to breathe in and out, I'm not nervous, no, I'm fine! "Alright..." Rebecca says smiling, walking into the middle next to me, crossing her legs. The moment she sits down, they restart the game. I look left and right, is it possible to be so bored and so nervous at the same time? Erudite studying over there, Dauntless giving each other mischievous and suspicious looks, I don't want to know what they're up to. Candor gossiping about something that I can care less about. My eyes search the crowd, we are all so different, yet we are the same, It's so confusing My eyes stop and catch a tall Abnegation kid, all alone. Doesn't he have any friends? I look back at the three obnoxious girls left in the game, "Hey I'll be right back." None of them hear me because another girl just got eliminated, I stand up to, flattening my dress to make sure it doesn't go up, that only happens once, and start walking to the strange boy when a shock goes through me and I jump and turn around to see Rebecca grabbing my arm. "Where are you going?" she asks.

"No where." I say, she looks at me raising her eyebrows.

"Fine, I'm going to see that boy over there.", when I say the word _boy _I automatically look at him.

"Why? It's not like he's cute, well, maybe he is, but it's not like we can tell with all that grey on him. Plus, we're not aloud to leave our tables." she says, looking at him, too.

"Look, just don't tell anyone, okay?" I look at her and hope my big brown eyes will hide all the curiosity behind them. I wish there was a faction for curiosity, because I would finally fit in with people who'd belong. But they wouldn't do that, add another faction, it can't and won't happen. I can guarantee it.

"Fine." she says, holding my gaze for a long time, when she finally let's go, I start to walk away when I realize I have no reason to go see him if one of the teachers asks me why I am away from my seat. I take my red bow in my dark brown hair and try to throw it as far as possible. It doesn't get too far, but I still run for it and then walk to the table where he sits alone. He doesn't even see me until I sit down. His eyes are dark blue, I've never seen that before. It's interesting, no, different is the word.

"Hey." I say. I'm so lame! I need to learn how to start a conversation like a normal person. He looks at me, stunned that I even said a word to him, never mind came to sit with him. Are all Abnegation lonely, seems like it. Does being selfless mean not having fun or not being aloud to talk. That sounds pretty good at the moment, from the annoying girls at my table and the Candor gossiping so loud that you can hear anything, but I don't care what they're talking about, I'm not one to gossip.

"Hello." he says, looking at me, wearing himself with his posture and speech. I don't know why but he seems interesting, like he has a secret. I love secrets.

"I'm Emma." He just stares at me. Why doesn't he respond? Is responding self indulgent or something? "And you are..." I start to say. "Tobias." he replies.

"Tobias. Nice name." I look him up and down, he wears that name with pride. But with something else too, I don't know what, but I'd like to know.

"I really don't mean to be rude, but, we aren't aloud to interact with others who aren't at our tables." he says it like he's informing me. "Right, well, I'll see you sometime, maybe." I say, "Bye Tobias." I walk to our table and watch the girls restart their hand game for the fifth time. I turn around to look back at Tobias, he stares at me and meets my gaze. Normally, a guy who is staring at me will turn away the moment I turn around, but he keeps staring, why? We stare at each other for I don't even know how long when a Dauntless woman enters the cafeteria. "Emma Brown." I look at her, then back at Tobias, who isn't looking at me anymore. I stand up and take a deep breath, and walk toward the woman.

"Hello, my name is Tori, have a seat Emma." the woman, Tori, says. She sounds like she's said that line a million times, maybe she has. "Hello. I'm Emma." Great going stupid, she already knows that. I giggle to look obnoxious. "Oops, you already know that, don't you." It's so easy to be annoying. I walk into the room and look inside. It is made entirely out of mirrors. Nothing in it except for a screen and a lounger chair thing that I've only seen in my dentist's office. I twirl in the mirror so she doesn't think I'm some Amity that isn't happy all the time. It's not that I'm not happy all the time, it's just, I don't want to be irritatingly amused "Yes I do." She says as she looks at me, and opens a screen. I am so curious on what's going on but I can't ask. Well, I can, but I won't. James told me what some of the adult Dauntless volunteers do when you ask them question after question, releasing your curiosity. I jump onto the chair and fall off, nice. "Oops" I giggle, then I jump back on and sit, flattening my dress again. I look down at my hand, when did they get so sweaty? I wipe them on my dress hoping it doesn't leave an ugly mark. She takes some electrodes and places them on my head. They feel like little suction cups, I giggle. I hope she doesn't think I'm deranged or something.

"So Emma, you are going to drink this, okay?" I look at her hand holding a glass of some clear liquid. When did she pour that "Oh, okay." I say, my voice wobbling, why am I so nervous? I'm not going to die, calm down. I take the glass and gulp in air, then drink it down.

I'm in the cafeteria, but it's empty, what's going on. I see a table with some cheese and a knife. Do I cut the cheese and eat it?

"Choose." An unfamiliar voice says out of know where. I jump in surprise, and look around. Voices don't come out of nowhere, at least I've never seen it.

"What will I do, eat the cheese, stab something?" I say, looking around.

"Choose." the voice says again. I pick up both the knife and the cheese. I start eating the cheese, and when it's almost gone, the doors to the cafeteria open and a wolf-like creature runs in. I gasp and throw the cheese, but there's almost nothing left. The thing eats it in a second and continues to run toward me. When it comes into the light, I see that it is a dog. I turn left and right and start running. I turn my head and look at the dog, I look down and see the knife. I have to, I just have to. I turn my whole body around and close my eyes, then I stab the dog.

I open my eyes and find myself sitting on a bench facing a park. I just sit here, I'm sure something bad will happen. I look around and wait, I then see 2 boys, about my age, fist fighting, well, if you can call it that, one of them is beating the other one up so badly. I just watch them, I don't know why I don't go down there to stop the guy from hurting the other, I just stare. The guy kicks the other in the stomach right away and he goes flying on the ground. Why am I not doing anything, I don't know. The hurt boy stands up and tries to punch the guy, but the guy grabs his wrist and flips him over and the he falls on his back. I hear a yell and I still don't do anything. What kind of person am I? Then the guy punches the other in the jaw and he screams, the boy who got punched let's go of his jaw and the the other takes out a knife. That's when I snap and I run to see what they're doing. I stand up and have trouble running to see them with my dress. I topple over rocks and twigs and sticks to make sure I don't get hurt. When they're closer, I run in the middle of them, spreading my arms apart so they will separate. Right when I get there, the man goes to stab the other but stabs me in the stomach, or so I think...

I gasp and I'm in the glass room. I look down at my stomach and gasp for air grabbing my stomach to make sure I'm not dead. I'm fine, oh thank God! I turn my eyes at Tori, still gasping for air. "What was - huh, huh - that for? What did I ever - huh huh huh - do to you or the Erudite who made the simulation?" I almost scream. "I'm sorry Emma, please lower your voice, I'll be right back." She turns around and walks out the door before I have a chance to object and tell her to explain what just happened to me. I lower my back on the chair and try to shut my eyes to relax, but that gets me even more nervous, remembering the boy, his knife and him placing it inside my stomach. I shudder, forget about it, it's not important. Tori walks back into the room and and looks at me.

"Emma, I have something we need to talk about, it has something to do with your results because they are, unusual." She informs to me, as she takes a seat on a stool that wasn't there when I walked in here before. "Okay..." I say. This is extremely weird, what's wrong with my results? Was I not supposed to pick up two items, or get stabbed in the stomach?

"You seem to have equal aptitude for the Amity and the Dauntless." she says. I jump in my seat when she says this. Amity and Dauntless? How is that even possible? They are nothing alike. "You see, choosing the chunk of cheese shows aptitude for Amity, and choosing the knife shows Dauntless, and since you chose both, it showed that you had equal aptitude for Amity and Dauntless. So I put you in a scenario where the two boys where fighting. Trying to make peace showed Amity, but also, standing in front of the boy and his knife was a sign of bravery. I know you must be very startled with this. I-"

"Startled?" I say, breathing in and out. "Startled would be finding out which aptitude result I got, but finding out I have 2! That's unbelievable!"

"I know, I understand." she says, lowering her voice

I look up at her, taking my hand and brushing away my tears. "So, what does this make me? What do I do?" I stand up and get off the chair. She kneels down next to me.

"Emma, you are to be very quiet about this." She says, putting both arms on my shoulders. "You are Divergent."

"Divergent? What does this mean" What's that?

"It's very very dangerous. Go home, and I suggest you take a nap, you will need it, you have a lot of thinking to do."

"Oh, ok." I stutter and as I am walking out I glance her way. I notice a tattoo on the back of her neck. Maybe I would ask her about it, but I'm just too tired.

I walk into the cafeteria where people stare, mostly Candor, but only for a few seconds. I walk up to my table and grab my school bag when one of my 'friends' you can say, Dianne, turns around and sees me leaving.

"Where ya going?" she says, with a bounce in her voice, but not only that, there's curiosity there too.

"Oh, I'm a-" I think of possible lies I could say really quick in my head. "I forgot something in my locker, I'm going to go get it." I say, hoping that she can't tell I'm lying.

"Oh, ok. Bye!" She says. Before I can say anything, she turns around and listens to some stupid story that supposedly is the funniest thing they've ever heard. I start walking to the doors when I hear a call of his name.

"Tobias Eaton." Someone calls. Tobias, shaking a little, but barely noticeable, stands up and starts walking to the lady. When for a second, he turns around and sees me. I want to smile, but why? That was the most horrible experience of my life, for me, and I hope it's not the same for him. So I say nothing. I stare into his eyes for a few seconds when he turns around and continues walking. I shake my head. Grow up Emma, forget about him. You'll probably never see him again anyway. With that, I push open the doors of the school and start skipping outside towards the way to the Amity compound.

Once I get home, I take the key from around my neck and unlock the door. Mom and dad aren't home, what else is new. I walk in and find a note on the kitchen counter. What's this? I pick it up. It's from mom.

'Hey Emma, be back soon. I love you'

Whatever. I put the note down and go to my room. Once I'm in I jump on my bed. It makes a big noise. I throw my school bag in the corner of my room and lay down on my back. So, It's Amity or Dauntless. Who would've thought, I was Divergent, whatever it means. I **cannot **stay with the Amity, I'm kind but not _that _kind. I'm not obnoxious like the other girls. So I guess I'll be Dauntless. I wonder why I'm not sad about it. Shouldn't I be sad about not seeing my family ever again? I'm not. But I'm not sure why.

By the time I wake up, mom is calling me. "Emma! Dinner's ready!" I get up and my feet slump on the floor. I immediately wake up and get y posture straight. I'm still Amity, for now. I walk into the kitchen and there's my mom, getting dinner ready and my dad sitting at the table, reading some kind of newspaper or something.

"Hi hun, how was your day?" my dad says, as he looks up from the newspaper.

"It was ok, as good as aptitude tests get I guess." I say, as I take a seat next to him. He's probably the one I'll miss the most. "Oh right, I completely forgot." Definitely the one I'll miss the most. He's lying, he knew. He's just teasing me, in the playful way he always does. I love that about him. God, will I miss him. My mom turns around from the boiled corn she just made.

"How'd it go, hun?" she asks. I look at her. "We're not supposed to discuss the results mom." I say, looking up at her. "I know that silly, I meant, are you feeling ok? Were you nervous? Scared?" as she says this, she brings dinner to the table and sits across from me. "Dinner is served." she says. Last time I'll ever hear that from her.

"I was a little nervous like everyone, but it went good." I remark, taking a piece or corn with my fork and bringing it into my plate. "Well that's good, so Mark, how was your day." My dad starts talking about his big boring day. His job doesn't get that much action. He's just one of the 'guards' you keep the peace. Who use the peace serum when violence or conflict erupt. While they talk I tune out, and when I'm finally done dinner, I stand and excuse myself from he table. And walk up to my bedroom and jump onto my bed. That is all I remember before I drift off.

Please Please Review/Critique even if you didn't like it! I want to be an author really badly! I don't want to post Chapter 2 if no one will read it, so I'll wait until I get 5 "positive" comments.

Also, this story is also on wattpad if you want to see it in a different format

LUV ALL OF YA!


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

I'm in a forest, a dark green one that is not familiar, not like any forest is familiar to me. How did I get here? I look down, I'm wearing the same thing as yesterday. My ruby red summer dress and my red bow that I wear everyday. I decide to walk around to see where I can get out of here. When I hear a yell. The moment I hear it I sprint to where I think it's coming from. Who is it? When I hear the yell again I realize it's familiar. I've heard this voice before, but from who? I keep running even when my lungs gasp for air. I'm not the fastest but I have the trait of never stopping, which is hard for a lot of people. I hear the yell once more and stop running. It's Tobias, I'm sure of it. I snap out of my 10 second daze and keep running. These shoes seriously aren't made for sprinting, but they'll have to do, since I don't have any other shoes with me. I run until I see a giant tree blocking my way. I can't see where it starts or ends, so I decide to go over it. I jump and thankfully get over it. But some kind of moss is on it so I slip off the trunk and the moment I hit the ground my alarm goes off, and I wake up.

I try to slap it close, but end up just hitting my dresser. Oh yeah, I forgot that I put it across the room so I had to get up from bed in the morning. I sit up and look into the mirror that is across from me. Nothing's changed, I'm still the 16 year old girl I knew last night, except today I will make the biggest decision of my life. Stay with my family, or go? I've already chosen but the answer feels foreign to me. Like it's in a different language. I get up and slump over to the mirror and sit on my bed so I'm just inches away from the dresser that holds the mirror, and turn off the alarm. It's probably the most annoying thing I have ever heard in my life. Then I get myself ready. Brush my hair, put on my cherry lip gloss that I put on everyday, and put on a red and yellow plaid dress. I then take my red bow and put it on. I don't go anywhere without it, I'm not sure why though. I feel it gives me good luck. I look around me room. Why aren't I nervous? Is that normal? I will never **ever** see my family again and I act like it's no big deal. What's wrong with me? Whatever, that's just who I am I guess. I get up and walk around my room. Is there anything I'm aloud to take with me? I then find a photo of my mother and father and me. I find myself smiling. No matter what I feel and think, I will miss them. I take the photo and fold it in half and put it in one of the pockets in my dress. I then make my bed and clean my room for what will most likely be the last time, and take a deep breath. Then I walk out of the room.

When we get to the building that will hold my faith, I take yet another deep breath and walk in. My dad's hand placed on my back to help me get to where I have to go. I have never been here before because I don't have any brothers or sisters, who would've had to choose their faction before or after me. Just me. That's the hardest part, knowing when I leave them, they'll be alone. When we get to the doors, mom gives me a kiss.

"I'll give you and your father a minute." she says. She knows my relationship with my father is unbreakable, and I feel kind of bad sometimes, that I'm not closer to her. I nod and turn to my father, he kisses my cheek and before rising, he whispers in my ear.

"No matter what you choose, I will always love you, and I **will **visit you on Visiting Day, if it's the last thing I do." He looks into my eyes and I smile, tears about to run down my cheeks but I don't care. I hug him so hard, if he was my structure and my height, he probably wouldn't be able to breathe. He looks at me and pats my back. "See ya soon kiddo." I look at my mom and wave goodbye, she knows I'm leaving, so I might as well prepare her, and look at my dad and blow him a kiss. I turn around and go through the doors, without looking back.

The actual ceremony is really boring. A man from the Abnegation government, who says his name is 'Marcus' or something, recites some speech that sounds like he's practiced this by heart. I'm too bored to hear. But I hear him state that they'll start from last names starting with 'Z'. Great, my last name is Brown. I'll be so close to last. So I decide to watch the parents' faces when they find out their child is a traitor to their faction. Thank God my mother and father won't think so. By the time they get to the 'F's I am half asleep when I hear his name. "Tobias Eaton." Marcus says into his microphone. Tobias walks over to the middle of the room. I watch him closely but I don't know why I'm so interested. He takes the knife from Marcus without even looking at him, and without a doubt in his mind, cuts his hand and let's the blood sizzle on the coals of the Dauntless. Gasps come from the audience, but all I can do is smile. He will be an initiate in the Dauntless compound with me. But then I see that Marcus gasped with the rest of the Abnegation. Why? Maybe he knows him personally or something. I don't get to much into it, though I know I really want to. He walks up to the group at Dauntless who stare at him funny, he's the only Abnegation kid there, he looks odd with them. With his clothes, but you can easily see that he belongs with them.

A bunch of others pass, when I hear my name.

"Emma Brown."

I slowly walk up to the middle of the room and quickly look for my parents, when I see my dad seated close to the back, winking at me, I giggle and wink back. I feel like crying. I feel horrible and guilty, but for the choice I'm about to choose, I should feel guilty. I now stand in front of the five bowls which signify the five factions. Pebbles for Abnegation, coals for Dauntless, water for Erudite, dirt for Amity, (oh does it smell like home) and broken glass for Candor. I feel like running home and cuddling around my blankets, regretting ever waking up this morning. But I can't do that. So I take the knife from Marcus and take another deep breath, those always calm me down. I take the knife and cut my hand. It stings but I can't wince, now is not the time. Before the blood falls on the carpet beneath my feet, I put my arm on top of the Dauntless bowl and watch my blood fall into the bowl. A bunch of gasps come from some of the Amity parents, and I instantly look at my parents, my mom looks a little disappointed, but my dad gives my a teasing wink and a thumbs up. I laugh, and people stare at me. Pull it together Emma, now is not the time for jokes. I immediately stop smiling and walk to the Dauntless group. The line continues, and I stop paying attention, I turn to Tobias who is a couple meters away, he doesn't stare back, I don't even think he noticed that I'm here. I can't blame him though, he must have been nervous about his decision. When the last person has gone and goes to stand in their group, we start leaving the auditorium and walk out the doors. I quickly turn around to see if my father is there, and sure enough, he's at the back of the room with my mother, he finds my eyes, and smiles. But he can't hide the tears in his eyes when he sees me. I quickly mouth "I'm sorry."

He shakes his head "Don't be, see you soon." he mouths, and smiles. My dad is so selfless, I'm surprised he's not Abnegation. I look more around the room right before we're past the door and I see Marcus, in a rage. Is it because of Tobias or someone else? Better not get involved. At least for now.

We go outside and stand in a group that is supposed to be in some kind of line I think. When I hear the train. Oh right, I forgot the Dauntless take the trains, except they don't walk on, they jump on. I go up to the front, it'll be better to be one of the first so I don't smash into someone I won't want to. When the train comes, me and a couple of Candor kids jump at the same time as me. I jump in the air as far as I could and hear my feet stomp on the train's floor. My feet buzz but I ignore it. I gasp, forgot to breathe. When someone jumps into me and I fall down. The kid falls down next.

"I am so terribly sorry." He says, extending his hand to me. I wipe my hands on my pants and look up. It's Tobias. I take his hand and stand up. "Thanks Tobias." I say.

He let's go of my hands and looks at me. "No probl- Oh hello. You're Emma right?"

He raises one of his eyebrows, it gives him an Erudite kind of look. "Yeah, that's me." I smile and he smiles back shyly. His lips curl when he smiles, it's kind of cute. When some kid bumps right into us.

"Oh sorry. I really didn't mean to." he apologizes through his glasses, which are obviously fake. Must be Erudite. I laugh. "It's ok, I'm Emma." No better time to make friends, I guess.

"Eric." He shakes my hand and looks at Tobias. "Hi." he says. "Hello." Tobias responds. Eric tries to shake Tobias' hand but Tobias just responds awkwardly.

"Oh sorry, forgot the Abnegation don't shake hands."

Others join the conversation but I just zone out looking at Tobias. He's so... not cute. No not cute, he's... Mesmerizing. That's what it is. Especially his dark blue eyes. I sigh, and my cheeks turn red. Oh God, I hope he didn't hear me. He turns around, he definitely heard me, but it doesn't look like he knows it was me, because he looks away.

When we finally reach the Dauntless compound, all I can see are buildings blocking our view. "I think we have to jump on." Eric states. "Jump on what?" a Candor girl asks. She has strawberry blonde hair and a button nose, she's pretty. "The building over there." Eric points at a seven story building that we're about to pass by. "That?" I exclaim. The Dauntless-borns look at me. "Duh" one of them says.

"It's not as hard as it looks." says another. He's tall and dark with green eyes. Something I don't see together often. When we finally get close to the seven story building, I decide I want to jump on first or at least second, so I don't bash into anyone when they come up. I move closer to the train's opening, and when I'm about to jump, a bunch of initiates, Dauntless-born and transfers, push me aside, some just walk along, not seeing me, but others push and shove. I am one of the last ones on, so I jump off as high as I can before I miss the building. I close my eyes and feel my fingers catch something, and suddenly, I feel like I have to support my own weight. I'm hanging off the ledge...I'M HANGING OFF THE LEDGE! Oh my God! "Help! Help! Someone please help me!" I scream, no one comes for a few minutes and I feel like me hands going to fall off, when the Dauntless-born that was nice to me runs to the ledge and offers me his hand. When I am finally on the roof I exhale and gasp for air.

"Thank you so much..." I say, waiting for his name.

"Oh, Zeke, and you are?" he says. "I'm Emma."

"Cool." he smiles and turns around, someone is talking, I move closer to hear what is going on.

"You guys will have to jump down." a voice that is not familiar says.

"Jump down?" the same Candor girl from the train asks. "Yes."

"Is there anything at the bottom?" Someone asks.

"You'll just have to find out, so who's first."

A few Dauntless-born battle to be first, and one of them jumps first and lands in a hole. I'm guessing that's where you're supposed to land, since he looks fine to me. A couple others go and a few transfers. Tobias is next, he hesitates and then out of know where, he jumps down. I walk forward to see where he landed and he's in the hole. When I think he's gotten out, I take a deep breath, close my eyes and jump. I hear yells from under me and open my eyes to see Tobias not out of the hole yet. I try to move so I don't hurt him, but it's too late. I end up landing in a net, on one of his legs and I hear a small wimp.

"Oh my God! I'm so sorry!" I say. I look up at him and see his considerate eyes. "It's fine, really. Here, let me help you." He says as he lends my his hand, He helps me up and we both end up sitting and the ledge of the net with our feet dangling in the hole. I starts laughing and I don't even know why. He looks at me like I'm crazy and that makes me laugh even more. He starts laughing because I'm laughing. We move away from the hole so others can jump down, and we break down laughing. At these moments I realize why I am so interested in Tobias. Because he is different. More like me.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

When everyone has jumped, we all gather into a giant group. In front of us are two Dauntless. Probably our instructors.

"Hello initiates, my name is Amar and this is Katie," he points to a girl to his left, around his age. She's got platinum blonde hair and piercing icy blue eyes, she's gorgeous.

"We will be your instructors," Knew it. "I will be the trainer for the transfers and Katie will be your trainer for the Dauntless-born."

He has dark brown hair and the tannest skin I've ever seen. He's huge, like really tall.

"So if the Dauntless-born will follow me, you guys don't need a tour of the place." Katie remarks. At that moment, about 12 of us follow her. The resting 9 of us just stand here.

"And you guys will follow me for the tour." Amar tell us, and he starts walking. We all follow him. I am SO excited! I wonder what the inside of this place looks like.

We walk into the compound and it is **huge!** Like huge - huge! "Welcome to the Pit, it's really fun, you'll fall in love with it soon enough." Amar states. And fall in love with it I will. It's like a giant underground cave! It's amazing! We keep walking until we see some kind of river thing. From bird's view, on the left, it would look like a giant wave river thing, then a huge bridge/road in the middle, and then on the right, it'd look like a nice calming lake. "This is the chasm, it shows the truth from bravery to idiocy. Jump into the chasm and you'll die instantly. A risky Dauntless will jump in and will die, it always happens, and it will happen again. Let's keep moving." Everyone starts following but I don't want to go. I want to stay and watch. It's so... wonderful. After a couple of seconds, I snap out of my daze and run after all of them.

After the tour, Amar leads us to a room with a closed door. "This is where you will sleep, or in other words, your dormitory. This is where you will stay until initiation is over and we have the 10 of you."

"What do you mean the 10 of us?" the Candor girl, who's name is supposedly Susie, comments. "Oh, did no one explain this to you?" Amar asks. Silence fills the air.

"Well then, this is awkward. Out of the 21 of you, only 10 will make it."

"What?" Is all most of us can say.

"But that's not fair! Where will we go?" Susie exclaims.

"Well, Umm..." You could tell he does not like the answer. "You are asked to leave the compound...and live factionless."

"Oh my God!" Eric says, holding his hands to his face.

"I'm so sorry I had to be the one to tell you this. ... So, umm, pick your beds, and because there are only 9 of you, you each get a bed. After that, you got free time." Amar explains, then, he turns around and walks away awkwardly. That was really weird. And scary. What if I don't make it? I can't live factionless. Oh no. No, no, no, no, no. I have to do this! I have to make it in! I turn and look at Tobias who stands on my left, he looks just as startled as I am. His eyes widened and posture, stiff. Stiff is also the nickname the Dauntless use to refer to the Abnegation. I find that silly and rude, but whatever, as long as I don't refer to him as 'Stiff', I'm ok. He is still frozen in space so I tap on his shoulder.

"Last one on top bunk gets bottom bunk!" I yell, and run in. It takes him a few seconds to register what just happened, but then he snaps out of his daze and chases after me. I climb up the ladder and jump onto the top bunk. When Tobias sees me he stops and I laugh. He looks at me weirdly and laughs with me. While everyone stares, we laugh like psychos, I'm not sure why, but I like that. After a minute of silence from the others, one of them laughs with us, then another and another until we are all laughing. People rolling on the floor from laughter. Everyone except Eric is laughing, I wonder why. He looks very angry, but I don't know why he would be, did I do something to make him mad? I'm in too much of a laughing weird mood to figure it out, so I keep on laughing and he walks out.

When we can all calm down, I grab Tobias' arm and run to the cafeteria. We pass the Pit, I want to stay and stare at the chasm but no time, I'm starving and Tobias is my only acquaintance here so he's coming with me. Not in a mean way, in a teasing way. When we get to the cafeteria, he slows me down.

"What was that?" he asks, clearly wondering why I grabbed his arm and ran. I can't tell him that I'm interested in the way he moves and acts, so I think of a lie quick. I turn my head facing the cafeteria. "I heard they have real good desserts here and that they run out quick. And because you're from Abnegation, I guessed you never tried a dessert or something." he looks at me rudely. "No offense." I say quickly, and try to smirk in an apologetic way. He smirks back and grabs my arm and we run into the line. I laugh and he smiles. I wonder why others don't laugh all the time, is that just an Amity thing? To laugh all the time?

"Why do you always laugh at everything?" he asks. It's definitely an Amity thing.

"Why not? It's good for the soul." I smile. We just look in each other's eyes until it's our turn for lunch. I grab a hamburger and a small salad with some apple juice. I also grab some chocolate cake. I love chocolate. Tobias grabs the same things as me into his plate, except instead of a hamburger, he takes a tuna sandwich, and we walk to a table where Zeke is seated next to a girl who's a transfer from Candor, but I don't know her name. "Hey guys! What's up!" Zeke exclaims. He has a big smile on his face which I love about him, he's always smiling. Tobias and I take a seat across from them, me flattening my dress when I sit down.

"I'm good, the cake looks delicious!" I say.

"It is, trust me, I've been here for a long time and it's so good." We start eating and Tobias looks at me. I turn to him. "What?"

"Oh, uh, nothing, it's just, what are you eating?" he asks.

"You don't know what a hamburger is?" the transfer from Candor asks.

"No Lauren, he's a Stiff, remember? Stiffs don't eat that kind of food." Zeke informs.

The girl, Lauren, nods. I look at Tobias, still looking at my burger.

"Here," I say, giving him my burger. "you can have a bite of mine." He looks at the burger and then at me. For a second he considers taking the burger, but quickly snaps out of his small daze and politely declines. Does he always have to be so Abnegation all the time. ... Emma! That was very rude! Of course he does, he was Abnegation just this morning!

"No, really. I don't mind at all." Bringing the burger just a little closer to him.

"Oh no. It's ok. I can just go in line and wait." Tobias remarks as he stand up from his chair.

"No, seriously Tobias. The line is huge and by the time it's your turn, there will be none left, here," I say, turning the burger to the side that I did not yet bite "now you can have a bite... You know you want to." He looks at me in the eyes and gives me a small smirk.

"Oh, alright." He takes the burger and takes a bite. A bit smaller than usual but it's because he's selfless. When he tastes the wonderful deliciousness of the burger, his eyebrows shoot right up and I laugh so hard. He turns to me and says

"Thank you, that was delicious." Tobias hands me the burger but I quickly decline.

"No, you can have it. I don't want it anymore. I wanna finish my salad." I state.

"Really?" he asks, he looks happy, but he won't acknowledge that, is happiness self-indulgent for the Abnegation?

"Yeah, sure."

He takes the burger back and eats, surely enjoying every bite, though you cannot see too much of that happiness in his face, but he smirks, which is a start for him. A start to happiness.


	4. Chapter 4

So so so so so sorry it's been so long! I've had writers block for such a long time, but I'm back and this time, it will not take so much time to upload. I hope you guys can forgive me for being late and I really hope you enjoy this chapter, it's not too much, but I wanted to give you guys a little something so it wouldn't be so long.

Ps: Sarah (from my school), if you are reading this, please stop, its really weird and awkward at school when you read this, lol.

Ok! Onto the chapter!

Chapter 4

In the middle of the night, I shot awake. I am not sure why, but it was probably because of a nightmare that I can't remember at the moment. I lean against my pillow and breathe in and out. I need some fresh air, I feel like I'm hyperventilating. I get up and go down the ladder, onto the floor and tip toe to the door. I open it and walk down into the Pit. I slowly walk around, being the only one in sight, when I see a light open. I quickly try to hide, what if something happens to me. But I realize it's just a shop about to close, I decide to go and see what's going on, I quietly walk there in my bare feet. When I get to the window, there is a lady that is lifting boxes, she seems to be almost 80. She looks like she needs help with this stuff and before I can think, I find myself walking in.

"Oh my Lord!" the woman exclaims. She puts her hand where her heart is and jumps a little.

"Oh, I am so sorry, I really didn't mean to scare you." I say. She looks at me, and at what I'm wearing.

"Shouldn't you be in bed?" she asks me.

"Umm, yeah. But, I couldn't sleep, do you need help?" I look at the boxes she has to carry and open. She looks at me as if I'm crazy, but she really needs help, so she agrees.

"There is a box over there that I'd like to unpack, if you wanted to do that." she says as she points to a box in the corner of the room, sealed closed by tape.

"When you are done, you should go to sleep." she says as she stops pointing at the box.

"Ok. No problem." I walk into the corner next to the box and start looking through it. To my surprise, I find a bunch of books. I take them out one by one, but there are no words on them, weird. The lady comes up to me in a small hurry.

"Sorry, that's the donation box, wrong box." She stands in front of me and looks down at me holding a black leather book with blank pages.

"What is this?" I ask. I don't get it, what's the use of having a book if there are no words in them. The lady looks at me weirdly, as if it's crazy that I don't know what it is.

"It's a sketchbook." She says "You can keep it if you like, not a lot of Dauntless enjoy drawing so it was going to go in the trash anyway." the woman states.

"Drawing? It's for drawing?" I ask. It makes sense, but I still wanna make sure. Do I like drawing? I don't know. I know what drawing is, I just don't think I've ever done it before.

"Yes, for sketches and portraits and things like that."

"Awesome. Thank you so much." I say, as I stand up and start to go. "I think I'm going to go to bed." I tell her, looking away from my new 'toy'.

"Absolutely, you'll need it for tomorrow. You are an initiate right?"

"Umm, yes. Yes I am, how did you know?" How _did _she know? I'm not wearing any red.

"You're wearing a red bow, in your hair. Dauntless don't wear that. That could only be Amity." I give away a slight, faint laugh.

"Good night." the woman says "And sweet dreams."

After her kind words, I walk out and decide to take walk around the chasm. I look at my book, and back at the chasm. I should draw this, the chasm. I once heard in a book, that sketches were made to re-create wonderful things. Beautiful things. And that is what I will draw. The chasm.

I wake up to the sounds of rustling feet, clothes being thrown around the room and faint voices from inside the dormitory. I look down from the bunk bed. Tobias is still sleeping, but has 2 folded shirts, pants and socks on his face. I look down at my lap and see the same things, except in smaller size. I see Susie getting dressed a couple of meters away.

"What are these?" I ask her. She jumps a little and looks at me, obviously startled my my loud voice.

"The trainers got them for us, it's what they want us to wear during initiation. Ugly, isn't it? We got two pairs of everything, wash and wear, I guess." she answers.

"Thanks." I say as I look down at Tobias, still asleep. I try to get my arm to touch his face to wake him up but my arms aren't long enough. Ugh, I should just get down onto the floor and wake him up the normal way, but that'd be to boring. And I'm also too lazy. I get my abdomen over the bar that protects me from falling over the floor, and lower my arms where I can touch his face and gently tap his face repeatedly.

A weird, sleepy noise, comes out of him as he takes the clothes off of his face. He accidentally grabs my arm and pulls me onto the floor. A faint screech escapes me as I crash onto the hard wooden floor, and he bolts awake at the sound.

"Oh my God, I am so sorry Emma!" he remarks, offering me his hand.

I start giggling faintly. "It's fine, I'm okay." I take his hand and he pulls me up. When I get my feet on the floor, Susie and Lauren run to my side.

"Oh my God! That was some fall!" One of them yells, but I can't which because I'm still dazed from the fall.

"Ha ha. Yeah." I say, cause I'm not sure what else to say.

Once I get ready, and the others are done too. I put my red ribbon into my hair. Just then, Amar walks into the room.

"Okay initiates. Welcome to your second day here, and your first day of initiation. If you follow me, we will be headed to the training room. Line up!"

At that moment, we all line up, and you can see easily, the way we are lined. The three Erudite in front, probably ready to observe. Next, the four Candor, the three Amity, including me, though, I cannot recognize any of the other Amity. And then that one Abnegation kid. That tries to stay quiet and unnoticed but can't. He stands straight and tall, that is not a trait an Abnegation should have, but he isn't Abnegation anymore. He's in the middle of factionless, and Dauntless. Like the rest of us in this room. Amar leads us out of the room into the Pit and as we walk through the Pit, I see the chasm again and wish I could just sit down and look at it on one of the rocks.

We walk out of the Pit and onto the glass roof. I have heard about it before but I am not sure what it is, its what you see on top of the Pit, when you look up and there's that glass floor/ceiling thing. You know what I'm saying? Well, that's where were going. When we get up there, there are a lot of equipment and stuff there.

"Ok guys, today we are going to try something called fear landscapes." Amar said "But you will not be doing your fears today, you will try it out by doing Katie's fears, how this will work is that we will give you a serum that has transmitters, in that you will be connected to the computer. Today, only you and Katie and I will be able to see how you're doing."

"You didn't explain it right." Katie remarked. But none of us really cared how it worked, I was too concerned on the needle, the big, long needle that was about to be plunged into my nec-, stop that Emma! don't think about that, think about how well you are going to do, yeah, you're gonna be awesome.

"They understand, right?" Amar stated

"Well actually..." remarked an Erudite transfer. "Ok, everyone get in a line, there are 5 to chose from, choose wisely. Though, you really can't tell which is which.

I immediately walk over to the fourth one, I turn to Tobias, I really don't want to be alone. "Hey Tobias, aren't you coming?" I exclaim to him, he was in a daze but he just sanpped out of it. His head turned straight to me.

"Umm, sure." He said, walking towards me. "I don't mean to be curious, but why did you choose the fourth line?" he asked.

"It's okay, you can ask questions you know, I would never scold you for being curious."

His eyes were looking to the ground until now, he was looking right into my eyes, not sure if he should me mad at what I said, or be happy, I honestly don't know either.

"And to answer your question," I said "I picked the fourth line because 4 is my lucky number."

When it is finally me turn I, my nerves have gone wild, on the outside, I may look cool and calm, but on the inside, I'm freaking out! Katie comes up to me with a syringe the size from her wrist to the tip of her middle finger.

"This will only hurt a little." she says. Yeah, sure.

As she plunges the needle inside my neck, I try not too think about it, but before I can try not to think about it, it's already done.

"Oh, that was quick." I say.

"Good, now remember, the way to get out of a fear landscape is to either face your fear, or lower your heart rate to a normal pace. Are you ready?"

I breathe in and out, my nerves are crazy but I know it's now or never.

"Yes, I'm ready."

"Great, good luck Emma." she says. Before I can ask how she knows my name, I blink and I am not on the roof anymore, I am sitting on a train track. To be more specific, I am in a field, tied to a train track. I can't move. Well, this can't be too bad at least there's no-, I hear the sound of a train's horn. Train. Train is not good! Can you die from this, okay, calm down, calm down Emma. Every little thing, is gonna be alright. I used to hear my dad whistle that song. Dad. I miss dad. My mind dozes off as I fall asleep thinking about my father.

I don't know how long it's been that I've been asleep but I wake up on the floor, my face wet with tears. Amar and Katie are by my side, And Tobias is not too far away, watching me, just watching, looking unsure and awkward about what to do in these situations.

"What happened?" I ask. Amar looked at Katie, as if mentally asking her if he should tell me, she nods reluctantly and walks away, to help another initiate.

"You dozed off during your fear landscape, we don't understand how you did that but you did. You were so calm that you fell asleep."

"I wasn't calm, I was thinking about my dad." I remark, and quickly want to take it back. Tobias has a look on his face that makes it look like he wants to vomit and he tenses all over and the mention of my dad. I don't really understand why every time I bring up the word father, or my dad, he gets like that.

"Well," Amar said, interrupting my thoughts "you should sit down over there." He points next to the line 4 computer. I nod and go to sit there and watch Amar talk to Tobias on what to do. I wonder what his fear will be. I watch as Amar inserts the needle in his neck and he doesn't even flinch. That must be lucky. Not being afraid of needles. All of a sudden I see Tobias looking up, blocking his face, and he starts screaming. Everyone who is not doing their fear landscape is looking at him, he was screaming and crying yelling. "Stop! No! Please!" When he falls to the floor unconscious, I run out of my little 'corner' and run to his side. He may not have ran to mine but I'm originally from Amity, we help those in need. He shook his head a little and his eyes were finally back in reality. He probably saw me over him, inches away from his face. Amar was looking on the computer screen with his jaw dropped. I really wanted to go and see but that would be an invasion privacy, so I'll stick to consoling him, just as my father did for me when I was younger, and what I will do to him.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

Tobias and I weren't the only ones to fall unconsciously to the ground, they were others who fainted because they were so afraid. At least it's better than pissing your pants. They let us off easy today, which is surprising for Dauntless, and we got the rest of the day to walk around and do whatever we want. I helped Amar bring Tobias to the infirmary but as soon as we got there, he was fine and able to walk off by himself. And that's what he did. He just left. I wonder what happened in the fear landscape that made him freak out like that. I think better of following him so instead I head back to the dormitories and get my sketchbook. I steal a pencil from someone's night stand and walk off toward the Pit, closer and closer to the chasm. When I get closer I take a good look at the chasm. Amazing. I can't just stand here and attempt a drawing, there are people running around like mad-men. I look around and from the corner of my eye, spot an uneven rock on the side of the chasm. Should I?.. Yes. I heard that we are going to be tested on how many fears we have so I'd like to get to the barest minimum. Already lost my fear of needles this morning (didn't hurt as much as I thought it would. Thank God!) wonder what other millions of fears I'll overcome. I make a quick decision to try and get on the rock that would give me the perfect view of it all. I grip to the wall and slowly, side step by side step, get to the rock. My feet slip a couple of times but I manage. I settle down and gasp. The view is just...Nothing I could ever dream of. Too beautiful for this world. I get out my sketchbook and start to draw while the Dauntless run around insanely while I sit on sketch.

I'm not sure how much time passes by but I could tell at least a couple of hours. I suddenly hear my name being called and look up. Zeke and Lauren are across the Pit, looking for me. I'm not sure why but I don't want anyone to see my little hiding place. It makes me feel the most at home which is weird because the chasm is wild but my home is peaceful. _Was _home. Dauntless is my home now. Or at least if I don't get kicked out. I quickly escape my rock (yes, it is _my _rock now. I have claimed it) and run across the bridge that separates the chasm from the soft lake. Zeke and Lauren spot me before I spot them.

"There you are! Where have you been?" Zeke exclaims, running toward me.

"Oh, you know. Just walking around."

"Do you know where Tobias is? We couldn't find him anywhere." Lauren asks, sounding concerned, just like the look that Zeke has. They don't know where he is? Well, that can't be good. But I'm sure he'll be fine. I don't know him well enough to confirm it, but somehow, I just know.

"I'm sure he'll meet up with us later. Probably just nervous about the fear landscapes."

"Oh my God, those things were terrifying! Nothing in Dauntless has ever prepared me for THAT!" Zeke says, and with that, the topic of Tobias's disappearance is over and we're off to get some diner in the cafeteria.

Afterwards, we go to hang out around, with still no sound of Tobias. I found myself drifting away from Lauren and Zeke and towards a tattoo shop. It's not like I want one right _now, _but it'd be nice to see what there is. I walk in and I immediately think that it's closed. The place is silent. I keep walking and find myself in a little room. There stands Tori, the same girl who did my Aptitude test, talking with Tobias. I quickly back away so that I remain unseen, luckily I didn't catch any attention. He's standing in the middle of the room, where the faint light casts him almost perfectly. I know I shouldn't eavesdrop but oh freaking well.

"That's not supposed to happen Tori! What the hell was that?!" Tobias yells angrily. His face has gone red all over.

"Calm down! I don't know exactly, I wasn't there remember? But I'm sure it has to do with the reason that you're different." _Different?_ I keep listening.

"What does that even mean?! I really don't see how it's so dangerous." Ok, this conversation is getting real serious.

"Just lay low. Don't drag any attention to yourself. That whole commotion you pulled with the screaming and crying-"

"I was not crying." he interrupts.

"Whatever," Tori continues "It dragged everyone's attention. A lot of people are talking about you. You and that Emma girl." Oh, so now I'm the topic of tonight's casual dinner talk, nice.

"Emma? They're talking about Emma?" he asks, with that Abnegation general concern that all of his past people have.

"Yes, because she fell asleep. That's not...normal. Just, play along normally, okay? And maybe you should stay away from Emma."

"Why?"

"You're more alike than you think. It would be safer that way." And with that, I've heard enough. I run out of the shop soundlessly and down the Pit until I reach the dormitories. No one is in there as I go into my bed and curl up into a ball, trying to process what I just heard.

The next morning, everything seemed normal. I was still dressed in my clothes, but they were clean so whatever. I had more important things to worry about then wrinkly uniforms. People were running around getting things together, like they do everyday. When I look under my bed, Tobias wasn't there, which for some reason, doesn't surprise me. I get up and find my red ribbon that must've fell out of my hair during that night and put it back and and smooth down my hair. That's when Tobias walks out of the boy's shower room with a towel wrapped around his waist. Correction, a towel wrapped around very low on his waist. I find my cheeks getting hot and turn away. When my the color cools down, I turn around, showing no emotion on my face. But other girls are staring at him. He quickly notices this and puts a shirt on over his bare chest. Very fit and toned chest, might I add. That's when the rest of the girls turn away and he finds a corner to but his under clothes and pants on. He doesn't look at me once. Fine, I think, be that way. But it's killing me not to talk to him and ask him what the hell happened last night. What was going on? But for now, all my questions went unasked, so I walk towards Lauren's bunk and wait for Amar to come and bring up to those stupid fear landscapes again.

When Amar came for us, we didn't go to the fear landscapes, we were headed towards a small hallway in the Pit. The corridor was dark and had one door and the end of it. Looked like a movie poster to a scary movie. I try to walk ahead. If I had a fear of hallways, now was the time to face it. Amar is in front of us standing next to Katie. I didn't even notice that we were mixed with the Dauntless born initiates. When he finally stop in front of the door, Amar's voice is loud and clear.

"So, we all know that yesterday's fear landscape training didn't go so well. So we decided we're going to take things a little slower and start with the simulations instead." For some reason, simulations didn't sound much better. "I'm going to go in there," he points at the door to the mystery room that I'd rather not go on, "And Katie will stay out here with you. One by one I will call you in. Further instructions will be given individually. While you wait, you can sit out here and chat or do whatever. When you are done your turn, you can go. That's it. Simple and easy." Yeah, like anything in Dauntless is ever simple and easy. "So, let's start with Eric." With that, Amar walked into the room, not waiting for Eric to follow him, though he was quick on his tail. So the rest of us just sat there silently...for about 30 seconds. Then the yelling and gossiping began.

A long time later, most of the initiates went and each time, they came back stunned. Some with small tears running down their faces. Well, doesn't this mystery room sound just magical! Yeah, sure, I'm really not looking forward to going in there. But before I can contemplate trying to ditch this stupid test, Amar opens the door and calls out my name. I get up, trying not to show my shaking hands. Fear of creepy doors, about to be overpowered. I walk in not knowing what to expect.

The room is mostly dark except for the faint glow of a computer. In the middle of the room is a bed like one that was in the Aptitude room. To the left was a machine with a bunch of electrodes hanging loose and a computer glowing a white light. Amar was sitting in a chair in front of it.

"Hey Emma, come on over. There's no need to be afraid." he says calmly.

"I'm not afraid." I say so quickly that it sounds like I'm lying. I don't know if I am or not.

"Okay...Perfect. Now, you're just going to lie down here while I put these electrodes on you. Okay?" He says with a slight chuckle in his voice. Without saying a word, I sit onto the bed and lie down. Then I relax. It's all gonna be alright, everyone came out. Even though they came out petrified and in tears, they came out. Amar places the electrodes to my head and on my arms and legs. Then he covers almost my entire body (thank goodness for the 'almost' part).

"So, do you want the long or short explanation?" He asks with a sly smile, as if making people go crazy was something he did everyday. Maybe it was.

"Short." I say, a little to stiffly.

"Okay. So, when I put this syringe into your neck," he shows me a needle then, and I'm surprised when I don't even flinch. I know it won't hurt, not if I don't let it, "you're going to close your eyes, when you open them, you'll be in a simulation, much like the fear landscape except you won't know you're in it. One of your fears will play out. You will think it's real. To get out of the simulation, just do exactly what you do in the fear landscape. Overcome or lower your heartbeat. Got it? Don't worry." He explains, and I nod. I am sweating now. I grab onto the bed while he inserts the syringe into my neck and I close my eyes. When I open them, I am no longer in the room.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

**Hey guys! Sorry it's been long and I'm late (again) on my once a month thing. I am a horrible person. This one's kinda short, compared to the rest and I apologize for that. I have a huge test tomorrow in (stupid) geo and I haven't studied yet. (Yay procrastination!) So yeah, hope you guys like this short and late story. **

I blink a few times, just in case I'm dreaming, but no, I'm really here. Out of the simulation room and out in the open, in the Amity faction. My factio- correction, my _old _faction. The wind blows through me hair and the grass tickles my toes in the garden outside of the headquarters. The smell of the earth are almost to overwhelming, I didn't realize how much I missed this place. I still do, because I'm not really here. Amar told me that I wouldn't know it was fake, but I do know... That's weird. I look down at myself, I am wearing the same clothes as before, but there's a gun in my hand. What...? Confused, I look up, and there he is. My father. He stands across the lawn from me, but even this far away I can hear the silent whimpers, see the tears in his eyes. I don't understand.

"Daddy? What's wrong?" I ask loudly, the wind is getting a little strong.

He looks at up and gives me a weak smile. "I love you Emma. I will love you know matter what." Even though he says it silently, his voice echoes in my ears. I'm about to ask him what is going on when I hear it. A small tick of a gun about to be shot. A gun about to be shot, into the side of my head.

"Kill him..." Whispers a voice in my ear. I want to turn around and hurt them just for suggesting it. But I feel a tingle in my arms and see them getting higher and higher until my gun in level with his face,

"You have 1 minute, or you could say goodnight."

I won't do it, never in a million years. Or as long as I live. But time is running out, and I don't want to be the one who goes either. Oh man...Think Emma think! What was it Amar said? That you either have to face your fear, or...Lower your heart rate! That was it!

"30 seconds..." says the voice. I can't decide if it's a man or woman, but at the moment, I really don't care. The wind around us is getting stronger and stronger by the second. Breathe Emma, just breathe. In and out. In and out. It isn't working!

I'm just gonna have to do it. It isn't real. It can't be real. It will **never** be real. Just close your eyes and shoot. I look at him dead in the face, trying to hold back tears. I inhale, and aim, straight for the spot above his eyebrows, where his "third-eye" would be. I exhale and close my eyes.

"10 seconds, hurry..."

This is it. I shoot.

A bang comes, and I hear the heavy thud of his body hit the ground. I refuse to open my eyes. To see the blood and pain and death that _I _caused. If feels like a long time before I stop feeling the wind on my skin and the weight of hands rest on my shoulders.

"Emma. Emma, wake up!" Amar whispers loudly. My back shoots straight and he stares right at me. I can't tell if there is judgment in his eyes.

"Did you see that?" I ask, though the answer is obvious.

"Yes." Is all he replies. We're silent for a second before I relax and he releases his grip on me. I look at him in the eyes, not care that mine are watering.

"I'm a monster." Is all I say, as I bury my face into my hands. I start to cry, and I can't stop. I killed my own father. The only one who has ever told me that'd he'd love me no matter what I did. Even if I killed him. What have I done? I don't care if it's fake. It was wrong. _Is _wrong. I can never forgive myself. What is wrong with me?

Amar looks into my eyes without sympathy or pity. "You are not a monster." Is all he says. As he goes to unplug the machine and prepare it for the next person in line.

I can't sit here and sulk all day, though that does sound good, so I get up and walk towards the door, then stop. I am not going to let any of them see me like this. Never. I won't give them the joy and humor of my tears and fears. I quickly wipe my eyes and try to get them to calm down for the redness to go away. I turn around and look at Amar, who isn't paying any attention to me.

"Amar?" I say, a little too loudly. He stares at me in slight annoyance. "Do I look like I've been crying?" After that, he gives me a weak smile that doesn't reach his eyes.

"Not at all." He says. I smile back, an award winning grin, and open the door, and walk out.

Only a few people are left to go and quickly settle down when I walk out. This happened with everyone. People want to see if you've been crying or screaming, but I must hide it very well because they quickly get bored with me. From behind me, I hear "Tobias! You're next!" from the room. Tobias, who was sitting in the corner by himself, gets up and walks towards the door. Before he goes in, I call his name and he turns his head politely in my direction. It's silent for a few moments before I say "Good luck." and he nods. He walks into the room and I walk away. I am not sure where I am going until I find that my feet are leading me towards the chasm. Where I find the most peace, after a day full of nothing but war.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

**A/N: I am officially the worse "fan-fiction-writer-whatever-we-call-ourselves" ever. I know I am late and I cannot stop being guilty about it. I am a horrible person, and will probably be getting even more horrible because of exams coming up (fun. -_-) **

I went to bed early yesterday because I heard that we were doing the simulations again today. Which I wasn't looking forward to, and I realized as we the line to who has to go in got shorter and shorter, I got even more anxious. There's got to be something wrong with me, and I'm sure it has something to do with that _Divergent_ thing, right? I'm not sure whether I want it to be or not. When Amar finally calls my name, I get up and walk into the room, making sure all my nerves vanish from my face. We go over what I have to do and how this all works. When he said "Are you ready?" I told the lie that had been on my lips since this morning. "Yes."

"Great, okay. Good luck." And it began.

There was wind all around me and I couldn't see anything. When I finally got my hair out of my face, my father was standing in front of me, and there was a gun in my hand. It was the same simulation as the day before. This can't be right, aren't we supposed to see some of our fears this week, and then all of them when we do our fear landscape later? I heard the click of a gun next to my head and that voice I hated but couldn't put my finger on.

"Do it." she whispered. Her voice icy cold and full of malice. Despite the wind, I can here her perfectly.

"No." Not this time, I can change what I did before. Be better, and be brave. I will not shoot him again, end his life when he would never end mine.

"He goes, or you do, it's up to you." I wanted nothing more than to turn around and to punch the smile I can hear on her lips. And this time, nothing was stopping me to do so. I turned around and took the back of my gun and smashed it against her face. She fell to the ground. Her hair stuck to her face even though the wind was trying to move it out of the way, I couldn't see her face. But the rest of her was tall and slim, wearing business clothes and high heels. I took deep breaths, and before the simulation, I spit on her.

I regret not turning to see my dad's face to see his reaction, even if he wouldn't have been proud.

When I woke up gasping, Amar was ready. He handed me a glass of water right away. While gulping it down, I stared at him, expecting to see a fake smile and a phony 'Good job'. But instead, he was frowning. Maybe that was good, I'd finally get answers. It was he who spoke first.

"We need to talk." He said sternly, as if it was my fault that the simulation had repeated itself.

I know. "Okay." He got up from his chair and walked out of the room from the side door, not waiting for me to catch up. The side door, well, this couldn't be good, but it's not like I thought it was going to be. I followed him out the door and he stood there pacing, and he stopped when he saw me. He made sure no one was there when he said "You're Divergent."

"I don't know what you're talking about." I said. '_Tell me more'_ I thought.

"Emma..." He was pulling at his dark hair now. "Listen to me, what I am about to tell you, you can never telling a living soul, ever, unless I tell you too, which I never will."

"Okay..."

"You are Divergent. You're different. Your mind is different from others. When you did your Aptitude test, what did you get?"

I wanted to tell him that I wasn't allowed to tell anyone, but I could tell he wasn't in the mood for sarcasm. "Inconclusive."

"Exactly! You aren't like the others. You brain is stronger, and therefore, unset for only _one_ faction. You're made for more. You can do different, things. Powerful things. _Dangerous_ things!" He stepped back a little, looking like he got a little carried away. "Like how you hit that woman in your simulation, normal people can't do that, but you, you can. There are other Divergent, but not many." All I could here was "_not normal, not normal"_ It should of scared me. That I was something more powerful that anyone else. It didn't.

"What about my simulation? Why was it the same one as last time?"

"I don't know. I'll look into it, but I have never heard of it happening before." He looked down the dark hall we were in "You should go. They'll be wondering what's taking so long. Don't worry about it, just don't tell anyone."

"Promise." He attempted at a smirk but it was obvious that it was not even half-hearted.

"You don't seem like the type to go off telling me anyway." And he turned around and walked back into the simulation room, from here, I could here him calling the next name on the list.

I walked into the Pit and heard loud outbursts of screams and laughter all around me. I was looking for my quiet place to sit and watch. I kind of find it peaceful to watch war, makes me feel grounded. Apparently, Tobias wanted to quiet place to sit too, because he was walking around looking dazed. "Hey! Tobias!" I call out, waving my arms and waiting for him to look my way. Right when I was going to call after him again, he turned around and saw me, looking a little relieved. He came to stand in front of me, staying at a respectful and polite distance away. Damn Abnegations.

"Looking to be alone?" I asked him, my lips turning up a little at the sides. He nodded and didn't say anything. "Me too. We can be alone together." And against Abnegation customs, I grabbed his hand, in front of everyone though no one was actually paying attention, and ran to the chasm. I could feel his body tensing and hand tightening around mine.

"What are you doing?" He yelled, over the loud waves of the chasm. I turned around to look him in the eye, we are the same height.

"Trust me. Do you trust me?" I asked, not having a clue on what his answer will be. He just nodded and I turned around. I grabbed his hand tighter and walked to the edge of the chasm where the hard rocks were. I carefully put my foot on one of the rocks, and I could feel Tobias trying to pull be back. "Don't worry." I whispered "I've done this before." I didn't think he heard me, but then he relaxed, only a little, and I knew that he did. I took another step and another and he followed closely behind me. I could feel his heat despite the cold splashes on my clothes from the chasm. When I finally got to the rock, which was now _my_ rock, I sat down, letting go of his hand. But he must've been caught off guard because he almost fell off and I grabbed it again. He gave me a half-hearted smile and sat down beside me.

"There. What do ya think?" I asked, looking at him expectantly. I would be lying if I said my heart didn't flip _a little_. I could help but wonder if he was Divergent like me. If was something far-fetched to hope for, and was probably bad to want it anyway. Tobias' voice interrupted my thoughts.

"Not very quiet." He said, looking down and smirking now. "But...I like it."

And we didn't say anything else. We rested our backs against the wall and I closed my eyes, letting the water spray against my ankles and shins. And letting my heart thump to the pulse in Tobias' palm. If only for a little while.


End file.
